THE TRUTH ABOUT MEMORIES

Memory is a decidedly mixed bag. Sometimes it surprises us in astonishing ways with its recall power of long-forgotten moments; other times it disappoints and makes us wonder if it’s in slow or steep decline. I’m not going to address poor cognition due to age or disease. Let’s focus on a healthy human brain’s memory—a patchwork quilt of cached experiences and photographic snapshots stitched in our brains. Even the experts cannot agree, as conflicting studies show our memories can be simultaneously extremely accurate and unreliable.

Here’s the problem: How do you write a scene or true-life story from memory when you can’t remember all the details? Or perhaps you want to describe a vivid case study from your professional files that exemplifies a lesson you want to dispense in your book but your memory misfires and draws a blank. How do you reconcile these challenges?

If you’ve ever played a game of telephone, you know what happens. The first person passes along a statement but by the time the last person says it out loud, the statement has changed. It may no longer be close to the original.

The same can happen when it comes to our memories. With each recollection, a certain memory is prone to change. Over time, our recollections morph, shift, or otherwise take on new and different meanings. Our brains play tricks on us. And the passage of time can be incredibly detrimental to our memories if we don’t take extra precautions to plant an original memory firmly in our brains through hacks like memory training or writing details down.

What can a writer with integrity do to stay authentic?

First, don’t panic.

Second, do your best to capture what you can and fill in missing blanks carefully that make sense and help your prose flow. You can always ask other people who were witnesses or participants to any event you’re trying to evoke and express in words. Conduct a little research and do some fact-checking yourself. But also keep in mind that other people will remember events differently.

Finally, you can always fess up to not knowing everything with a disclaimer at the beginning of the book. Example: “This story is based on true events; however, some details may not be fully accurate due to gaps in memory. While I have done my best to reconstruct events faithfully, certain elements are described as I recall them rather than as precise facts. Where necessary, I have drawn on plausible details to complete the story. This account aims to capture the essence and emotional truth of the experience, even if some specifics are unclear.”

As Marcel Proust once said, Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were.

Credit: Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash